A little while ago we went to a 3-day conference in Orlando, Florida. Halfway through the weekend, we had the choice of either creating a "miracle moment" or creating disconnection and distance in our relationship.

Here's what happened...

As we were walking out the door of the seminar for an hour and a half lunch break, two women in the group joined us and asked us to go to lunch with them.

As we walked with them, Susie looked at Otto and told him that while she would like to go to lunch with them, she would really like to take advantage of the beautiful sunny 80 degree day and take a swim during their 90 minute break. Otto told Susie that he would like to have a hot lunch and do some networking.

What happened in that brief discussion between the two of us can be called a "miracle moment."

The chance for a "miracle moment" in a relationship is when you either hide your truth and who you are or you are authentic and allow your partner to be authentic.

We took a "moment" to go within ourselves to find out what we each wanted to do with the 90 minute lunch break. And then after being clear within ourselves, we shared what was important to us and listened to each other in a non-judgmental way.

Even though we would have liked to have spent that time together, we were each able to do what we were really called to do without a lot of drama or feeling guilty about our choices.

Even when it's something as trivial as how to spend a 90-minute lunch break, it's in this moment that a lot of people get triggered by their fears or by their programming from past experiences and end up feeling resentful and angry with each other.

In this instance, Susie could have very easily gone to lunch with Otto and the two women and had a very enjoyable time. But she would have had a strong feeling that she had missed a great opportunity to do something that she loved to do and hadn't been able to for several months because we live in Ohio where it's cold outside. There might even have been some resentment if she had not gone swimming.

Otto could have been judgmental about Susie passing up the opportunity to "network" with other seminar participants. He could have had resentment that she wasn't fully there to learn and to make the most out of the seminar.

What could have been a divisive situation turned into a demonstration of trust and love. We made the decision to get our needs met, we listened and honored each other's needs, and we were present and loving with each other.

Often, we are asked how you can have freedom in a conscious, growing partnership and still remain close and connected as a couple. One of those ways is to choose to create "miracle moments" in your relationships.

Here are some ideas for you to consider to help you create your "miracle moments":

1. Take a moment to find out what you are feeling and what you want.

2. Say what you want in a way that it can be heard.

3. Honor who your partner is and what he/she wants.

4. Stay open and find ways that work for both of you.

The reason we're calling these situations "miracle moments" is that for some of us these situations can truly create "miracles" in creating love and trust in our relationships if we are open and conscious enough to recognize the possibility and potential in these moments.

In relationships, yes, big things can be destructive, but when relationships don't work it's mostly a culmination of many moments that make our relationships great (or not.)

© Otto & Susie Collins
Life Channels Staff Writers
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